Thought After AustriaGP 2020

Last Sunday there was a MotoGP race, AustriaGP. As you might have heard or read or watch, there are several accidents in the series. I’m gonna talk about the one in MotoGP class, the accident involving Morbidelli and Zarco whose bikes almost hit Vinalles and Rossi (you can see the photo sequence here). Well, I’m not gonna talk about the race itself or how the accident happens but the effect it has to the riders, to the teams, to the spectators.

Rossi, was and still is one of my childhood heroes, by childhood I’m not talking about when I was very little because I only know MotoGP probably when I was in middle school. He was fearless, he is one of the best, I admire him and maybe to some extent it never crossed my mind that he could’ve died.

Well, we’re mere mortal, we’re all gonna die sometime, but you never thought that your heroes would, you know what I mean? Although his sport is a dangerous one, racing will always be dangerous even though you’ve already made safety precautions, there’s always risks of being involved in accident which can injured you or worse

Back to last Sunday’s race, the bikes flew only several inches, so close that if Rossi or Vinalles were late or too fast few seconds, they would be hit by a several kilogrammes of hard metal which could result to their injuries or death. It was a terrifying sight for me. It must be a traumatic one for Rossi and Vinalles. Thankfully both Zarco and Morbidelli are okay, not seriously injured and Rossi and Vinalles are okay too and can resume the race.

That race got me thinking, I’ve faced several deaths of the family members, and it made a scar, traumatic, the hollow feelings that haven’t yet being healed. I don’t know how would I feel if at that race my fav rider lost his life, would the wound became as hurt, would the world became as dark, I think it would, losing people never easy. I think the last racing accident resulted in death I saw was of Simoncelli and although his not my fav rider it was still tragic, I was still sad, he was so young. Some people said Simoncelli’s spirit was protecting Rossi and Vinalles. Maybe he was. I’d like to think he was..

When time stops

So I just re-watched AADC 2 and had the same emotion as when I watched it on cinema. And at the last part of the movie there is a scene where Cinta kiss Rangga after he drove her to her Villa, before parting ways. After the movie, I suddenly thought, there were those scenes in movies (not this movie tho) that when the leading actor and actress kiss then suddenly the world seems to stop.

I always thought that those things only happened in movies you know, until I had “the kiss”. The world did suddenly feel like stopping, the clock stopped ticking, the sound of the traffic vanished, all I can hear is my own heartbeat, all I can feel is the warm of his breath, all I can smell is his scent, all mingled in my brain.

You understand what I meant right? You’ve felt what I felt right? When you read my previous paragraph, who came to your mind? Whose kiss? 😉

A Note about Youbel

Untuk yang umurnya 30an dan suka basket dari remaja pasti tau siapa Youbel Sondakh. Pemain dengan posisi Guard yang pernah membela Satria Muda waktu masih disponsori Britama ini sekarang menjadi pelatih di SM Pertamina. Berprestasi saat masih menjadi pemain, sekarang saat menjadi pelatih pun bisa dibilang prestasinya baik.

Kenapa tiba-tiba bahas Youbel? karena barusan liat postingan IG IBL Indonesia soal Youbel terus gw jadi keinget dan pengen cerita aja. Youbel itu salah satu pemain fav gw dulu (kalo ga yang terfavorit ya), gw seneng liat dia main, determinasi dia, skill dia. Terus suatu waktu dia cedera. Suatu saat di karir seorang atlit pasti pernah ngalamin namanya cedera, dan gw sebagai penggemar cuma bisa berdoa semoga cepat pulih dan cepat bisa balik main lagi. Tapi kadang ya ga semua doa terkabul

Gw inget banget di tahun itu setiap gw bisa nonton pertandingan dia, gw pasti nonton, sambil berharap dia dimainin, ga cuma duduk di bench aja. Gw terus nunggu, nunggu, dan nunggu. Mungkin dia sempet dimainin, mungkin engga, intinya gw ga inget kalo dia dapet banyak waktu main

Gimana sih rasanya Dateng ke hall basket atau ke Britama arena buat nonton idola Lo tapi dia ga bisa main karena cederanya kambuh lagi, kambuh lagi? You can only hope. Kalo gw yang nonton aja segitu berharapnya apalagi dia yang ngejalanin kan. Selama masih bisa main, fisik, stamina masih oke, pasti atlit pengen terus berkontribusi buat timnya toh

Sayangnya Youbel akhirnya harus membuat keputusan berat untuk retire Dari olahraga yang udah membesarkan namanya, karena ya itu, cederanya tak kunjung pulih. Mau dipaksa kayak gimana, namanya cedera ga sembuh-sembuh juga ga akan maksimal mainnya, mungkin pertimbangannya dulu juga daripada makin parah kan. Jadi gitu lah, Youbel yang menurut gw sebenernya selain masalah cedera itu masih bisa main untuk bertahun-tahun lagi akhirnya harus retire. Terus gw galau deh haha

Lalu beberapa tahun lalu Youbel come back, kali ini jadi pelatih di SM. Seneng, karena bisa liat dia di lapangan lagi walau di pinggir, senang, bahwa dia bisa bawa timnya juara (kalo gw ga salah ingat ya). And so, although I miss to see him playing, I’m happy on what he’s become now. A good coach. Sayangnya gw belom sempet nonton pertandingan langsung di hall, karena semenjak sebelum Asian games, hall basket ga bisa dipakai jadi mainnya di Mahaka Square yang juauuuuuuh banget dr rumah gw. Tahun lalu udah sempet janjian sama temen buat nobar, sayang ga kesampaian, mudah-mudahan suatu saat bisa nonton langsung

Youbel as a coach

On Suhay Salim’s low-key wedding

Suhay Salim is my new idol..

Well, not really new, was exposed by her make up tutorial videos on YouTube from my colleague. I like her comments here and there about related or unrelated topics, her random singing or her foul mouth sometimes hahaha.. I do envy her ability to say whatever she wants to say, I wish I can do that to some people I don’t particularly like..

She made the news recently, about her low-key wedding to her boyfriend of 3 years. A foreigner who looks like an Indian (I didn’t follow the news so I don’t really know his nationality). When most of he bride wanted to have a great wedding party because you only married once in a lifetime (or we hope so, and i have no problem with people throwing big parties if they can afford it), Suhay choose to marry in the religious affairs office (KUA), no party, no traditional wedding ceremony, nothing. Wearing only semi formal outfit. She has balls, I tell you.

For Indonesian, marriage is a big event, one of milestones in life, so it need to be celebrated. And Indonesians are a close knitted society, I mean, everything is involving the big family. Sometimes you don’t have a say on how to celebrate your wedding because it considered as your parents’ event. They wanna make it as big as they can for other people to see.

Amidst all these, she still choose to marry like that, which means she probably need to face her big family (who probably wanted a more festive celebration) and has to prepared for what her neighbours will say. Most of the time, when a couple chose to marry in private, not making a big party, people will say “she must have been pregnant already” or stuff like that. True or not, whatever the reason the couple do that, it shouldn’t be their concern.

According to her Instagram stories, the reason she chose to marry like that is because she doesn’t want to go through the hassle of having a big wedding ceremony. It already was hard enough for her to fulfill the wedding requirements from the religious affairs office since her boyfriend (now husband) isn’t Indonesian, so there are a lot of paperwork to take care of. A logical reason, I must say. I don’t know whether she will throw a wedding party afterwards or not, but I like her decision to have a private and humble wedding like this

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Now, I already said I admire her for the decision, because honestly as I grew old I came to the same thought as her. If someday I marry, I don’t wanna throw a big party. Only want him, me, our close friends and family. The biggest reason is because I can’t stand being in the big crowd, it gives me headache. I don’t think I can get through the hassle of having that kinda party either. The last one is because I’m broke hahahaha.. unless I get a billionaire as a husband, I think I’ll settle with a low-key, humble, yet beautiful wedding

Personal Preference

Gw msh inget obrolan antara gw sama dua sahabat gw. Diawali dari ngomongin gw n satu sahabat gw yang sama-sama bikin akun di chat app (or is it dating app?) semacam tinder. Gw unknowingly selalu ngelike orang itali, sahabat gw lebih seneng orang brazil.

Udah ngobrol ngalor-ngidul sampai lah gw ngomong begini: “iya, aku sih lebih ke itali, si A lebih ke brazil, kalo teteh mah lebih ke (menyebutkan nama suami si teteh) ya.” and we all laugh.

Yes i admit, gw lemah sama beautiful green eyes belongs to those italians. Kayak matanya mamas Rossi lah. A beautiful green eyes, wavy copper locks, and killer smile will blew me away anytime and never fail.

But…

Dalam hal physical feature of the guy currently have feelings for, he is nowhere near. No beautiful green eyes, his eyes brown and almost always looks tired and sleepy, wavy locks yeah but his hair is black, killer smile hmm if only he smile more often it probably will kill, definitely gonna kill me tho 🙂

What i’m trying to say is, when it comes to a man we love to see, yeah physical personal preference play a big role. But to love a man with the heart, i tend to look at the inside quality first. When it’s beautiful on the inside, the outside doesn’t matter. If he happened to be beautiful inside and out, you hit a jackpot.

Never chase someone based on the outside, chase the people who is beautiful inside. You’ll never regret it. Because as people grow old, physical beauty will fade, but a beautiful soul will last forever. 

Bapak, kakak kangen

Beberapa bulan yang lalu saya diperiksa sinsei, katanya saya ada masalah di dada, disarankan untuk mengurangi stress. Pikiran yang tercetus adalah masalah jantung, tapi kayaknya ga ngerasa jantung kenapa2 dan saya juga jarang banget stress. 

Kemudian saya ingat, memang sejak beberapa bulan belakangan ini saya kadang suka sesak, nafas ga teratur, itu terjadi kalo lagi sedih karena ingat orang tua, terutama bapak. Ingat bapak, seringnya dipicu karena seorang oknum, to whom i gave my heart. Ingat bapak karena membayangkan seandainya bapak masih ada sama saya, saya mau minta nasehat, saya ini harus apa. Karena biasanya laki2 lebih bisa menilai laki2 lain.

Kalo udah inget bapak biasanya nangis dan kalo udah nangis kemudian sesek. Saya sering nangis kalo inget atau kangen orang tua tapi dulu ga smp sesek napas, sekarang begini. Kalau menuruti kata sinsei, saya harus kurangin stress. Agak susah ya kalo sumber stress nya karena kangen orang tua, sedangkan orang tua saya udah ga ada. Terus aku kudu piye?

Saya cuma bisa doain orang tua dan doain supaya berkurang stressnya.

Masalahnya, kadang buka sosmed pun bisa inget orang tua. Akhir2 ini banyak berita soal pak ahok, ada yang share soal status fb anak sulungnya. Lah aku baca itu aja langsung mbrebes mili, inget bapak. Ini aja sambil nulis sambil nangis. Trus aku kudu piye pak? Cuma bisa ngomong sama langit, “bapak, kakak kangen”

Important decision

How often do you have to make an important decision? The decision that will affect either your job, social life, love life, or life as a whole. I faced this situation regarding work more often than another area of my life thats why im used to it and i can make it more easily. Now im facing a situation that require me to think hard and deep for its a matter of principal, my value and point of view of my life. This is the real deal, the clock is ticking and im still in doubt. Should i bend my principal, my value to get what i wanted? Should i let go and give up what i wanted to stick to it? The risk is the same, more or less. Thats why its confusing 😦

What i want in life

Earlier today someone asked me “what do you want in life?”, for me this is a serious question. I sat back and thought, some answers fly around like “I wanna be successful”, “I wanna marry and have a family”, “I wanna make more money”.

But as a thought more deeply, there was only one answer “I want to be happy”, I finally said to him. It’s a simple answer but not as simple to make it come true.

How many of those successful people who are happy?  How many of those married people who are happy? Can money guarantee your happiness? the answers are debatable.

Yes, success is important, having family is important, money is important. But if you really being honest to yourself, I think most of the people are pursuing happiness.

Lazy weekend

What do you like to do on weekends?

Most of the time i just stay at home watching my fav show which i downloaded or read my fav book. But sometimes i go out with my best friends, have lunch together or watch new movies or have coffees. 

This weekend i’m just gonna stay at home, probably gonna go to a coffee shop in the afternoon, and i have a friends gathering (what do they call arisan in english?) on sunday noon. 

Sounds boring huh? Well everyone got their own pace, i myself dont really like to go to a mall if i can just stay home enjoying my own company. Coffee or tea and book or fav tv show is good enough.

Actually there’s a basketball league (Indonesian Basketball League) games in town this weekend but the venue is at kelapa gading which is so far from where i live and the traffic is bad, the public transport is not really helping too. No train station near it and the transjakarta shelter is not close either.

So, this weekend gonna be a lazy weekend. I’m gonna enjoy my last weekend before the new semester start. How do you gonna spend your weekend?